sea of happiness
my love for you
not just a passthrough
if it's for you
overthrow the world i'll do
no matter how bad it'll turn to
deem my words as trustworthy
i promise i wouldn't do you dirty
so judge me
if i were ever found guilty
made the guillotine to chop me
but i know
i see you don't love me so
you don't ever care about my woe
nor you care about the pledge i bestow
i don't care though
because you never glow
until then you shone
i was utterly in pain
the one you chose was that swine
worse, you started to draw a line
just so that swine wouldn't whine
hey dear
i couldn't take it anymore
kill me i implore
but you won't heed my chatter
so i shed my body to the shore
i'm dead therefore
yet you cried
i couldn't help but wanting to abide
nevertheless, my body has died
i couldn't be by your side
thus i took a new body to reside
it was the swine's body i decided
but even after you still cried
i wonder what should i do to make it right
so then i invited you to the seaside
for you and the former me to be reunited
with this
no more sadness in your eyes
i and you won't agonize
we'll both drown in the sea of happiness
your sake
i watched you fell helplessly
while you were wearing that smile so lovely
with such figure so dainty
i could feel my heart went icy
as i knew the end will only be misery
but your laugh gave me life
so i made a paragraph
about the worst you'll have
but that paragraph remains a draft
as i'm just a coward
you know very well about that
i could feel your eyes darted
when the time we met
asking what is it that i'm hiding
but i kept the silence hanging
because i couldn't help but feeling
that it was your happiness i will be ruining
even so i hope the worst won't be happening
and the joy will be everlasting
until today i'm still dreaming
you on the sunflowers field running
nonetheless reality got me waking
the dress you were wearing
came back in red so striking
so i ended everything
at last i was dancing
on the place you are sleeping
it was the heart you've never had i'm presenting
to paradise shall we leaving?
all for your sake my darling
quarantine journal
These past few days, I’ve been at
home. Since the coronavirus started to spread in Indonesia, the government has
enforced two weeks quarantine at home. Honestly, I didn’t hate this kind of
situation. Moreover, I rarely went out even when holiday so it didn’t bother me
much.
Because of the quarantine, the school
conducted online classes. But the server was often unstable. I even couldn’t
registration and somehow three accounts had the same name. Fortunately,
the last case wasn’t mine.
During the quarantine, I mostly
read some manga or manhwa. People are often mistaken between manga and manhwa. Manga
is a comic that originates in Japan while manhwa is a comic that comes from Korea. The
differences are manga consists of black and white panel and manga is read
horizontally because its form is pages. On the contrary, manhwa has colorful
panels and it’s read vertically. I read both of them on the internet.
One of the mangas I read when
quarantine was ‘Mystery for My Dear A’. It’s about a girl named Ayano who liked
reading books. Later, she met Takayuki, a former author who now works as a
consulting detective. As the story goes on, Ayano will learn about Takayuki’s
bitter past when he was an author. Unfortunately, there are only 6 chapters out
of 10 chapters that available in English. I tried to find the free continuation
but unfortunately, I have to buy it and it’s written in Japanese. So if I want to
read it, I have to rely on Google Translate.
I also read a manhwa with title
‘Second Life Ranker’. The story is kind of sad and I cried when I was reading
it. The protagonist, Yeonwoo had a twin brother who disappeared. One day, he
found his brother pocket watch. Inside the pocket watch, there was a hidden
diary that was recorded, “By the time you hear this, I guess I will be already
dead...” Turns out his brother was wandering in another world to find a cure for
their mother’s illness but he was betrayed by his comrades. Controlled by rage,
Yeonwoo decided to take revenge for his brother. Unlike ‘Mystery for My Dear
A’, this manhwa is still ongoing and the scanlation team updates daily.
But of course, my only
entertainment isn’t just reading. I watched an anime named ‘Angels of Death’.
The main character is a girl named Rachel Gardner who had watched a person
killed, so she went to the hospital for consultation. But in the middle of the
consultation, somehow she fell asleep and when she woke up, she was in a
strange building that had five floors which each floor had a floor master and
some kind of test. The victims in the building have to pass the test so they
can go up with a lift until they reach the top floor. On the lowest floor,
Rachel met a floor master, Zack, who will chase her to the second floor.
Because of his sick mentality, he’d kill the second-floor master, and his
position changed to the victim. Then the two of them worked together to get out of
the building. The story is kind of dark and gloomy. Unexpectedly, Rachel also
had a mental problem, she wanted to be killed. Zack promised her to kill her
when they manage to get out.
── sincerely, rin
random quote
We grew up on the same street
You and me.
We went to the same schools,
Rode the same bus,
Had the same friends,
And even shared spaghetti
With each other’s families.
And though our roots belong to
The same tree,
Our branches have grown
In different directions.
Our tree,
Now resembles a thousand
Other trees
In a sea of a trillion
Other trees
With parallel destinies
And similar dreams.
You cannot envy the branch
That grows bigger
From the same seed,
And you cannot
Blame it on the sun’s direction.
But you still compare us,
As if we’re still those two
Kids at the park
Slurping down slushies and
Eating ice cream.
──Suzy Kassem, Rise Up and Salute the Sun
(2010)
percobaan header
sea of happiness
my love for you
not just a passthrough
if it's for you
overthrow the world i'll do
no matter how bad it'll turn to
deem my words as trustworthy
i promise i wouldn't do you dirty
so judge me
if i were ever found guilty
made the guillotine to chop me
but i know
i see you don't love me so
you don't ever care about my woe
nor you care about the pledge i bestow
i don't care though
because you never glow
until then you shone
i was utterly in pain
the one you chose was that swine
worse, you started to draw a line
just so that swine wouldn't whine
hey dear
i couldn't take it anymore
kill me i implore
but you won't heed my chatter
so i shed my body to the shore
i'm dead therefore
yet you cried
i couldn't help but wanting to abide
nevertheless, my body has died
i couldn't be by your side
thus i took a new body to reside
it was the swine's body i decided
but even after you still cried
i wonder what should i do to make it right
so then i invited you to the seaside
for you and the former me to be reunited
with this
no more sadness in your eyes
i and you won't agonize
we'll both drown in the sea of happiness
your sake
i watched you fell helplessly
while you were wearing that smile so lovely
with such figure so dainty
i could feel my heart went icy
as i knew the end will only be misery
but your laugh gave me life
so i made a paragraph
about the worst you'll have
but that paragraph remains a draft
as i'm just a coward
you know very well about that
i could feel your eyes darted
when the time we met
asking what is it that i'm hiding
but i kept the silence hanging
because i couldn't help but feeling
that it was your happiness i will be ruining
even so i hope the worst won't be happening
and the joy will be everlasting
until today i'm still dreaming
you on the sunflowers field running
nonetheless reality got me waking
the dress you were wearing
came back in red so striking
so i ended everything
at last i was dancing
on the place you are sleeping
it was the heart you've never had i'm presenting
to paradise shall we leaving?
all for your sake my darling
quarantine journal
These past few days, I’ve been at
home. Since the coronavirus started to spread in Indonesia, the government has
enforced two weeks quarantine at home. Honestly, I didn’t hate this kind of
situation. Moreover, I rarely went out even when holiday so it didn’t bother me
much.
Because of the quarantine, the school
conducted online classes. But the server was often unstable. I even couldn’t
registration and somehow three accounts had the same name. Fortunately,
the last case wasn’t mine.
During the quarantine, I mostly
read some manga or manhwa. People are often mistaken between manga and manhwa. Manga
is a comic that originates in Japan while manhwa is a comic that comes from Korea. The
differences are manga consists of black and white panel and manga is read
horizontally because its form is pages. On the contrary, manhwa has colorful
panels and it’s read vertically. I read both of them on the internet.
One of the mangas I read when
quarantine was ‘Mystery for My Dear A’. It’s about a girl named Ayano who liked
reading books. Later, she met Takayuki, a former author who now works as a
consulting detective. As the story goes on, Ayano will learn about Takayuki’s
bitter past when he was an author. Unfortunately, there are only 6 chapters out
of 10 chapters that available in English. I tried to find the free continuation
but unfortunately, I have to buy it and it’s written in Japanese. So if I want to
read it, I have to rely on Google Translate.
I also read a manhwa with title
‘Second Life Ranker’. The story is kind of sad and I cried when I was reading
it. The protagonist, Yeonwoo had a twin brother who disappeared. One day, he
found his brother pocket watch. Inside the pocket watch, there was a hidden
diary that was recorded, “By the time you hear this, I guess I will be already
dead...” Turns out his brother was wandering in another world to find a cure for
their mother’s illness but he was betrayed by his comrades. Controlled by rage,
Yeonwoo decided to take revenge for his brother. Unlike ‘Mystery for My Dear
A’, this manhwa is still ongoing and the scanlation team updates daily.
But of course, my only
entertainment isn’t just reading. I watched an anime named ‘Angels of Death’.
The main character is a girl named Rachel Gardner who had watched a person
killed, so she went to the hospital for consultation. But in the middle of the
consultation, somehow she fell asleep and when she woke up, she was in a
strange building that had five floors which each floor had a floor master and
some kind of test. The victims in the building have to pass the test so they
can go up with a lift until they reach the top floor. On the lowest floor,
Rachel met a floor master, Zack, who will chase her to the second floor.
Because of his sick mentality, he’d kill the second-floor master, and his
position changed to the victim. Then the two of them worked together to get out of
the building. The story is kind of dark and gloomy. Unexpectedly, Rachel also
had a mental problem, she wanted to be killed. Zack promised her to kill her
when they manage to get out.
── sincerely, rin
random quote
We grew up on the same street
You and me.
We went to the same schools,
Rode the same bus,
Had the same friends,
And even shared spaghetti
With each other’s families.
And though our roots belong to
The same tree,
Our branches have grown
In different directions.
Our tree,
Now resembles a thousand
Other trees
In a sea of a trillion
Other trees
With parallel destinies
And similar dreams.
You cannot envy the branch
That grows bigger
From the same seed,
And you cannot
Blame it on the sun’s direction.
But you still compare us,
As if we’re still those two
Kids at the park
Slurping down slushies and
Eating ice cream.
──Suzy Kassem, Rise Up and Salute the Sun
(2010)
percobaan header
